How the Lyell theme song came about
by Sapphire1112
Summary: Set after the hug episode in series 21. I do not own the characters - or the tunes.


After Nikki and Jack have made up, Clarissa decides that they all need to let their hair down. She invites, Thomas, Nikki and Jack over to hers for a karaoke session. Despite Max worrying that the neighbours will complain, the session is held in their garden. Thomas sticks to orange juice as he is on call – Jack and Nikki, on the other hand, are very happy to be on normal terms again and do indeed let their hair down. They enjoy the karaoke to start with and do their best to follow the words. However, after becoming a little tipsy – due to Clarissa's 'free' bar, they have other ideas – and create their very own mash-up.

As the karaoke machine begins to play 'invisible', it's Jack's turn.

 **Jack: #** What are you doing tonight  
I wish I could be a fly on your wall  
Are you really alone  
Still in your dreams  
Why can't I bring you into my life  
What would it take to make you see that I'm alive **#**

 **Thomas:** Very nice, Jack.

 **Clarissa:** Everybody!

 **Everyone: (Except Nikki who has wondered off around the garden with her drink.)**

 **#** If I was invisible **#**

 **Jack: (Continues singing on his own – after everybody else)**

 **#** Invisible **#**

 **Everyone else:**

 **#** Then I could just watch you in your room  
If I was invisible **#**

 **Jack:**

 **#** Your room – Visible **#**

 **Everyone else:**

 **#** I'd make you mine tonight  
If hearts were unbreakable **#**

 **Jack:**

 **#** You mine – unbreakable **#**

 **Everyone else:**

 **#** Then I can just tell you where I stand  
I would be the smartest man **#**

 **Jack:**

 **#** Stand.-I'm a girl **#**

Everyone else goes quiet in shock. Clarissa sniggers – realising that he hasn't really been trying to add effect as they thought. Jack hasn't noticed that he's not doing the same as them.

 **Jack: (carries on singing obliviously)**

 **#** If I was invisible (Wait, I already am) **#**

 **Max: (sounding highly unimpressed)** The drink's kicking in. He's had too much!

 **Clarissa: (motioning at Nikki, who's spinning on the spot with her arm's stretched out happily.)** He's not the only one!

 **Thomas: (Chuckling)** Yes, that'll be the drink as well.

The karaoke machine starts playing 'Blue Moon'. Jack appears to ignore it altogether and starts singing to the tune of 'I predict a riot'.)

 **Jack:**

 **#** Sweeping a scene is important

Pass evidence on to be sorted **#**

 **Clarissa:** Max, get my laptop – I have to write this down!

 **Max and Thomas:** Why?

 **Clarissa:** There might be something we could use!

 **Max:** For _what?_

 **Clarissa:** The Lyell theme song. Just go and get my laptop, please.

 **Thomas:** (Staring after Max) _The Lyell theme song?!_

 **Jack: #** My forensic assistant's a de-ar,

Though at times she can be quite fier-ce- **#**

 **Clarissa:** I am NOT!

Nikki wanders back as Max returns. She looks at Jack with interest as he continues.

 **Jack: #** Nikki and Thomas do the first bit,

Clarissa and I finish it,

We come together at the Lye-ll,

Get some answers on fi-le. **#**

He suddenly notices that Nikki's returned and shakes her hand excitedly. Clarissa taps away – whilst the other men look mildly amused.

 **Jack: #** I love showing off with forensics,

She appreciates my charrrrrming wit,

But Nikki knows what she's doing,

She's got a brain the size of Canada **#**

Clarissa roars.

 **Thomas:** We'll have to make sure she knows he said that – she'll be delighted!

 **Jack: #** Whenever a case needs solving

You can count on Nikki's unveiling

Though it's not always plain sailing

She relies on me if danger knocks. **#**

Nikki nods happily at him – before changing the tune and singing her own version of 'Eye of the tiger'.

 **Nikki: #** Breaking free – out of my box

Time up – made my escape

Had a nightmare, now I'm awake

Jack told me I was alive **#**

 **The others:** Aww

 **Nikki: #** For so long I thought it was the end

I'd do anything to live again

Don't let go – don't give in

I won the fight of my life. **#**

 **Clarissa:** Well, that is quite sweet.

 **Nikki: #** Back home, I fought to the top

It was rough – but I just couldn't stop

We're over the bump - a team right to the end,

We are all survivors – colleagues and friends. **#**

 **Thomas:** Well, I'm glad she's including us!

 **Nikki: #** Stand up straight when you get knocked down

It's a stroll – not a race, that's what I've found.

Believe in yourself – and this time you'll win

When things get hard - we're as united as kin. **#**

She finishes by holding Jack's hand and beaming at him. To everyone's surprise, Jack seems to take this badly. He gently drops her hand and wanders past her sadly. Her eyes follow him in astonishment.

 **Jack: (Now singing to the tune of 'Careless Whisper' and looking miserable.)**

 **#** I feel so guilty

As I see your pain

And know I could have stopped it

I let you go

In Mexico

I let her take you when I looked away

and it's not all fine - no

I'll never forgive what I didn't do

I came to save you, but caused you pain

She wouldn't have taken you,

If I wasn't so lame

You'd have been safe if I was a better friend

but I failed to find you when you were lost

So I'll never forgive what I didn't do

I'll never forget the pain I caused you. **#**

Jack stares silently ahead of him.

 **Clarissa:** Aw bless him!

Appearing to recover from her surprise, Nikki suddenly jumps into action and sings to the tune of Y.M.C.A in an apparent attempt to cheer Jack up.

 **Nikki: (Pulling his arm so he turns to face her.)**

 **#** Jack, it happened but you weren't to blame

I said Jack your voice kept me sane

I said Jack you saved me - that's plain

Please forgive yourself, **#**

 **Thomas: (chuckling as Jack's solemn face breaks into a grin again.** **)** Good old Nikki!

 **Nikki: #** Jack, you're the safest place I know,

I said – Jack, you're voice lifted me when I felt low

There's no need to blame yourself,

We're back home safe - you didn't fail

There's a place for both of us here,

It starts with L then Y.E.L.L **#**

 **Clarissa: (Clapping her hands together)** Now we're getting somewhere.

 **Nikki: #** You've got an L – Y.E.L.L

It's where we work and it's home,

Our jobs are part of us **#**

Jack joins in.

 **Nikki and Jack: #** It starts with L then Y.E.L.L

You've got an L – Y.E.L.L **#**

 **Jack: #** First it's L the L

Now let's meet the team **#**

 **(Starts rapping)**

 **#** My name is Jack and I deal in facts,

The rest of the team make up the skills I lack,

I can be hot-headed, but I'm good in a fight

But catch me on a bad day – I won't warn you twice. **#**

 **Jack:(looking at Nikki who giggles)** Your turn.

 **Nikki: #** My name is Nikki – and I never pull a sickie,

Jack hides me from danger, if things get sticky

I'm also hot-headed – but less so then Jack,

Though I'm more emotional – and less about facts. **#**

Thomas chuckles – until Nikki turns to him.

 **Nikki: (Brightly)** Your turn.

 **Clarissa: (sniggering)** Go on, Thomas!

 **Thomas: (Sighing) #** My name is Thomas and I'm the top dog,

I'm as cool as a cucumber and can see through the fog,

I can be harsh at times, cos I wear the boss's hat,

But underneath it all I'm just a pussy cat. **#**

 **Max: (indignantly)** See through the fog?!

Clarissa sniggers again. Nikki looks at Thomas pointedly.

 **Thomas: (turning to Clarissa and shrugging.)** Your turn.

 **Clarissa: (Clearing her throat) #** My name is Clarissa and I'm Jack's sidekick,

I'm big on science and good at thinking quick,

I'm brilliant at trying to lighten the mood,

But if you get on my bad side – I'm sarcastic and rude. **#**

Max snorts.

 **Clarissa:** Shut up – or I'll make you do it too.

Nikki and Jack high-five. Jack starts singing to the tune of 'Everybody – backstreet's back'.

 **Jack: #** We're from the Lyell

We've been away for a while

Everybody can see we're back

The Lyell centre unite!

Jeeper's creepers we're back at last

Camilla, Tim and the two of us- **#**

 **Clarissa: (waving to get Nikki's attention)** Er...missy – hello?

Jack stops singing in surprise.

 **Nikki: (Politely)** Can I help you?

 **Clarissa:** Jack has-

 **Nikki: (** **interrupting** **)** Jack?

 **Max: (Sniggering)** She must be drunk if she can't remember who Jack is.

 **Clarissa:** Yes – Jack **(points at Jack)** him! Jack.

 **Nikki:** Oh, him... **(nods)**...What about him?

 **Clarissa:** He's tipsy – and he's getting our names wrong. **(Points to herself.)** I'm Clarissa-

 **Nikki:** **(smiling)** Melissa.

 **Clarissa: (impatiently)** No, Clarissa. A

 **Nikki:** A. **(looks at her)** Clarissa.

 **Clarissa:** Yes. **(Points at Thomas who's laughing heartily)** And he's Thomas.

 **Nikki: (nodding)** Thomas. Right. **(Pats Jack's arm to get his attention as he's gazing into space.)** Jack?

 **Jack: (Looks behind him)** Huh?

 **Nikki: (Pulls at his t-shirt)** No – Jack!

 **Jack:** Huh? **(Turns back to face her)** Oh, me?

 **Clarissa:** Helpful – Jack doesn't know who Jack is either!

 **Nikki: (Waves her arm over her shoulder)** The drink is making you get their names wrong.

Jack picks up the bottle and studies the label in disgust until Nikki tugs at his t-shirt again impatiently.

 **Nikki: (Pointing at Clarissa and speaking slowly)** Cla-ri-ssa. **(Points at Thomas and speaks slowly)** Tho-mas.

 **Jack: (shrugs apologetically)** Oh yeah – I forgot. **(Starts singing again.)**

 **#** Jeeper's creepers we're back at last. **#**

 **(Thinks about it and then sings the names slowly – in the way Nikki did, so that they don't really fit the rhythm any more.)**

 **#** Cla-ri-ssa, Tho-mas **#**

 **Clarissa: (Loudly)** Thank you!bad timing though.

 **Jack: #** **–** and the two of us, **#**

 **Thomas: (Muttering)** Oh well – at least the names are right!

 **Jack: (Continues singing)** **#** Forget forensics- **#**

 **Nikki: (** **Interrupting** **)** You can't say that – you'll get fired!

 **Jack: (Tries again)** **#** _Great_ forensics – take a bow- **(Stares around vacantly – looking for the next line)** Gonna...have a paddle in the Thames right now. **#**

Max chokes on his drink.

 **Clarissa:** What?!

 **Jack: #** We need to identify **#**

 **Nikki: (Yelling)** DNA 

**Jack: #** We need to find out why **#**

 **Nikki: (Yelling)** Evidence 

**Jack: #** Then we know the truth **#**

 **Nikki: (Yelling)** Result

 **Jack: #** That's what we need to do  
When the Lyell centre unite. **#**

 **Nikki: (Jumping up and down in excitement)** **#** And now it's time to attend a scene  
We'll find out who you are and where you've been  
If you want the truth let me hear you yell  
The Lyell team are back on the case again **#**

Jack and Nikki high-five again – much to the amusement of the on-lookers.

 **Jack and Nikki: #** We need to identify **#**

 **Thomas, Clarissa and Max: (Yelling)** DNA

 **Jack and Nikki: #** We need to find out why **#**

 **Thomas, Clarissa and Max: (Yelling)** Evidence

 **Jack and Nikki: #** Then we know the truth **#**

 **Thomas, Clarissa and Max: (Yelling)** Result

 **Jack and Nikki: #** That's what we need to do  
When the Lyell centre unite. **#**

 **Everyone: #** The Lyell Centre unite! **#**

 **Clarissa: (Wiping her eyes)** And there you have it – one fabulously written theme song for the Lyell!

 **Thomas: (Chuckling)** Which Nikki and Jack composed whilst tipsy! - Good thing you wrote it down – they won't have a clue about it tomorrow.

 **Max:** Well, over all, they didn't do a bad job - considering.

 **Clarissa:** Hmm – might have to change that line about paddling in the Thames though!


End file.
